Du Pain et du Vin

Latest 

-favorites:

*singer: Melissa Mars

*site: Liqurious

*advert: Tiffany & Co.

*flower: amaryllis nymph

-sad news:

*death of Brittany Murphy...she was one of my favorite actresses :( may her soul rest in peace!

-films watched:

*Avatar

*Narnia 1 (but in French)

That's pretty much today's summary. I've been watching films, going through sites and went shopping. And just living in the feeling of Christmas. On the 25th I'll be in Paris, so yay for photos of  Tour Eiffel :D And Sunday I'll go with my parents to see a 4D movie at the Futuroscope. Should be fun (I hope they won't throw bird piss at us or stuff like that... it's supposed to be realistic, right? with wind and rain and everything :)) ).

And since I have been a busy girl and you all deserve some Xmas presents, I have 2 videos for you. (More substantial presents when I'll afford them :P )

Now before you start throwing dirt in my eyes for my singing not being perfect, please keep in mind that this was a project that was intended for a different outcome: a song with meaning rather than a song that just sounded nice. Lovely Stitch who asked me to do guest vocals for him had this song put aside and I totally loved it. And since he asked me to write lyrics in Romanian, I thought I might as well make them worth it. I have spent more time on writing the lyrics than on rehearsing and recording. And the whole thing was done in one evening, because it was the last chance to get it done before leaving to France. So in the future, we'll probably re-record and add backing vocals, but until then you'll have to look beyond my singing faults. After all, I only sang it 3 times before recording. And then, what is art? Just something pretty? Or something that may be very banal but with great, deep meaning?

This other video was done the next day after the dance show me and the girls did. It was very kind of the guys from Acsa Productions to make it for us. It's not meant to be something professional, it's just for the fun of it. (Seriously, some people need to learn how to relax and just enjoy things...it's not like I'm asking you money to watch or listen to any of my stuff, so why do you have to get pissed off for it and be so harsh? I'm perfectly aware of my faults and I can only learn by doing this kind of try-outs. Being mean doesn't help either of us)

So, yeah. Enjoy and have a good time wherever you are, whoever you are with!

Joyeuses Fetes a tous!

P.S.: I can has Xmas wishlist?

Finally Home

This is going to be a long update... and if I keep up this way, I'll soon be able to write an adventure novel! Sheesh...

I think the last 3 days have been the biggest adventure yet. Yes, it took me 3 bloody days to get from Newport to Tours! Any more cancellations and I would have resorted to borrowing a horse and riding all the way to home. And maybe cross the channel in a submarine or something...

So I left Saturday at 6am from Newport on a coach to London. I was supposed to get the Eurostar train at 12:30, but when I got to the station, surprise-surprise: all trains for the day were cancelled. I got kinda freaked out since I had no idea what to do then and I really wanted to go home to my parents. So I probably spent about 3 hours just wandering around, hoping they'd tell us something better. Eventually they said they'd be running a few services next day, but letting people on by a first come-first served basis. That meant I had to find a place to stay over the night and come back very early. Luckily, my mom has a friend in Romania who's son is in London, so he let me stay with him even if he had a flight first thing in the morning. So it was all fine, I had a warm place to stay at. Even got to watch Narnia 2. Then in the evening, the guy took me to a party held by some Romanians. It was a great atmosphere and almost everyone there could speak Romanian, English and French. Was quite posh, actually. And they had also made typical foods like mici, sarmale and mamaliga. And my luck was that there was a French guy at the party who should have taken the Eurostar as well, but had decided to go by the ferry instead. I say luck because the next day the trains were still cancelled so I knew what to do. Went to the coach station at 9am, had to beg everyone to let me skip the huge queue for tickets because the coach was leaving in 15min and when I got on, another shocker: the driver said he would probably not be able to get into Dover because of trafic and he would certainly not be able to go to the ferry port which is closed anyway. But thank goodness, right when we got to Canterbury he got a call telling him the ferry port was open again and he could go there.

At the port I met 2 guys who should have also been on the Eurostar and they were kind enough to help me get to Paris from Calais. So we had to take a taxi from from the port in Calais to the train station, run with all the luggage to catch the train and then change station in Lille after only one hour on that train. But then we were finally on our way to Paris. As if things could have gone right from then. Of course the train had to be one hour and a half late, making me miss the last train going to Tours. At least my dad had come to wait for me in Paris, so I wasn't alone. But I was so tired that I could hardly stand. It was mom again who was the saviour when it came to finding a host. And next morning we finally could go home, unfortunately the only train for which we could get tickets was the one at 4pm. At least we did get home eventually.

So it was a hell of an adventure. I caught a stinkin' cold and my body feels broken to pieces, but at least I got to meet many people, see a fairy tale like snow fall in London, have a fortune cookie tell me how sociable and entertaining I am, swear at the underground lines that were stopped because of the weather (in London and Paris as well...and yes, swearing at their entrance made me feel better) and then find a bar in Tours named "The Black Hawk" (they play metal stuff...mostly black metal and the likes). Yes, it's good to be home. Well, one third of a home that is.

Ghosts in the Attic

(Warning: Surrealism & Symbolism ahead!)

It's so cold today...My hand has frozen on the rock, became one with it. Should it crumble, I will too. I'll put it in the pocket for now, hide it from the vultures and protect it from the winds...

I scream! I scream and I throw myself to the sky! I scream and I throw myself to the sky and I hit it with a full sound! It explodes in my head...I scream and I throw myself to the sky and I hit it with a full sound...I scream and I throw myself to the sky...I scream...I scream!

Ah! There it is! The door I've been looking for all this time. Its paint has cracked and it's missing a spring, but I can fix it. I just need to chose a colour of paint first. And do you know what's behind it? No? Neither do I. And I'm afraid that if I open it, it will crumble and let all the evil spirits invade my little room. I should let it be for now. I will let it be. Until a summer day when the sun will be so strong that even the 5 inches thick dirt on the window won't be able to stop it's rays from getting through. Then I'll be able to fix it, paint it and let it dry. It will give me some years of peace. Until I'll stumble upon it again, see how it has decayed, reflecting my own new set of wrinkles. Or maybe then I'll finally let it turn to sawdust. The ghosts may well be gone by that time, bored by my childish attempts to lock them away. Like I wouldn't hear them anyhow. Every other night they go banging on the pipes and screeching on the ceiling. I have complained to the landlord endlessly about it. But would he do anything about it? No, he just pretends to forget. And I can't moved yet, I've already paid for the next decade. He sent me a workman one morning. He drilled these horrid holes in the ceiling just to tell me that it's the sound of it breathing. Now every time it's windy, I'm invaded by cold currents. God, how I hate this place. Am I just being selfish for wanting silence? My neighbors always say they get to enjoy silent dinners, but perhaps they're lying. Maybe they have ghosts in the attic as well.

If I peel off layer by layer, will I be able to cover all noises with my own? To feel abandoned in the stream of bliss and just float around, like a drowned corpse breaking into pieces every time it smashes against the cliffs. It is what all the ancient manuscripts have told me. But I can not do so until I perform the proper ritual, a sacrifice to the gods. I must first burn my blood and replace it with clouds. I must sew my eyes inside out so that I'm forced to look only within me. Then, like a child, I must crawl around feeling the ground until I find the Mountain. Yes, they will be pleased!

Blinded, I'm hanging from the peak. My hand has frozen on the rock, became one with it. (Now just wait to shatter...)

London with the PFA

Yesterday we got dragged to London to enhance our artistic sense and knowledge. We got dropped of somewhere close to one end of Oxford Street and walked to it, then down to the Photographer's Gallery. My hands were freezing through the gloves and I was swearing all the giant windows of the shops, all decorated for Christmas and full of clothing of gothic and baroque inspiration that just seem to become more and more common (you know, lacy, frilly tops and skirts, velvety dresses and all those lush things...when on earth did they become so popular?...anyway...)

The show in the Photographer's Gallery didn't impress me much. They were nice photos technically speaking, some quite original, but they were photos of poor people from countries like Mexico, Ukraine, India... and that sort of stuff don't really impress you when you grew up in Romania. You'd get to see them daily.

Then me, Will and Maz walked to the National Gallery, me being the one with the map. Now imagine that. Hehe. But we didn't get lost. Went in to see paintings from different eras and got told about the way paint layers dry by one of the supervisors. It was a nice, interesting chat. But one thing I'll never understand about museums is their layout. You go in, walk along the gallery and suddently you notice that there are coridors going pretty much in every direction. So it gets a bit confusing in terms of 'which way next?'.

Anyway, next on the list was Somerset House where Show Studio is. On the way there we got interviewed about our beliefs in extraterestrial life forms. Was hilarious. Though apparently we may win a trip to space. Like wtf?!? How are they going to send someone untrained in space? As beautiful a view may be, I wouldn't want to go. I'm affraid of flying on a damn plane, always thinking what if it falls or explodes or hell knows. But a space ship?!? Pass! Well nevermind that. Show Studio was absolutely mind blowing. From mirrors creating space effects to actually seeing Nick Knight during a shoot and to watching some of the best fashion videos on a huge screen while lounging on low puffy bag chairs.

After that, me and 2 other girls got walked down to the Tate by Jason Evans. I was impressed to see a painter on a bridge. It seemed so eary for him to ignore the people passing by and staring at him. At the Tate I only had a quick look around, then had a coffee and some biscuits, courtesy of our main lecturer, Richard Clegg. Honestly, I love some of the people here, so calm and friendly.

Yes, it was a good trip even if I was frozen and then had to listen to people coughing all the way back. Even if there was no shopping or shop-wrecking involoved. Heheh. I already got my Christmas pressent: a gorgeous 1980 Gunne Sax dress in cream voille with red roses pattern.

And speaking of Christmas, since I've got no other pressent for you (though maybe you'll get a preview of a song I'm working on if you'll behave :P ), I'll let you ask me any questions you want and will answer the 'worthy' ones in a post some time closer to the 24th. So you can ask whatever you may want to know about me or from me, but please try to be decent.

Toodles for now!



P.S.: I started reading Baudelaire's Les Fleurs du Mal. In French. And I'm going to stay with my parents over the holiday, which means Christmas in Paris! Wootz! Will have some nice photos to show you from there! And since we're in the theme of French literature, here's the trailer of 'Moliere', a movie that I love to it's every last bit.

Devo Xmas Party & Co.

On the 28th Nov I've gone to Reading for the Devolution Xmas party. So a small review is in place :)

I took the coach at 11, all dressed pretty and made up (the theme of the party was burton-esque) I mostly slept on the way, can't really manage to stay awake on a coach apparently. But I did notice a lush yellow castle on the way out of Bristol. Something I need to check out in the future. 

Well, after getting to the city what do you do? You look for the venue, obviously. Only problem was that it wasn't easy to find. Anyway, I got there eventually and I was on time. Party was meant to start at 2pm.

So who did I get to meet this time? Well, Maleficent performed there as well and was nice to see them again. And Amber Sweet as well, who is, well...sweet. I've spent some good deal of a time with Spider and Loris of Spider's Web Zine and they are both really nice people, was very pleasant to chat with Spider about contemporary issues. The Dirty Youths were there as well and was very nice catching up with them as I had already seen them in TJ's a couple of weeks before. And my greatest pleasure was probably meeting Dee Christopher. Although I hadn't heard about him before, he was definitely very, very, very entertaining with all his catchy magic tricks and he is very friendly as well, not to mention talented: he is sure to amaze even the most skeptical about magic. Lets see then, who else did I get to meet? I got to meet a lot of people to be honest! Joe Black who is a great entertainer and makes you just want to go and hug him, Nickie Hobbs of Devolution Magazine, DJ Painless, Alix Kober who is such a pretty model and loads of fun to play rock band hero with (yes, I also got to play rock band hero, did the singing, the bass and the drums. I even shoved the mic in my blouse so that I could sing while drumming. It was hilarious!)  and other people that were there for the party and whom were very kind and nice to chat with.

And another great thing about the party: there were free cupcakes! Imagine my happiness! I was in heaven. And also 2 mini-studio-setups so that you could have your photos taken with a nice backdrop and cool lighting. Yes, definitely a heaven for alt people. As for the gigs and dance acts: thumbs up! Sound and light were great - hell, everything was reaching perfection. There even was a raffle with great prizes to win, unfortunately I had forgotten my number (dumb, I know) so when they pulled out 59 I kept quiet because I though I had 58 (it proved later that I actually had 59. I was gutted). But, knowing me a lucky person, I did end up wining the most. The party was meant to end at 3am, but I onlt had my coach back at 5am so I hand around with the people left there. And as the persons who won the corset (that's a 24" black lace underbust corset - very lush and very much needed by me as my only black underbust decided to die that very evening (the material went loose at the side where it was sewn, that serves me for wearing it too much)) was a man who didn't very much need it and saw me being a bit sad about the whole incident, very generously offered it to me. And then the makeup was also won by a man who didn't want it so he also gave it to me. That really made my night much better. I wish there were more people like them in the world. I'd go around and cwtch them all! (*for those that don't know, "cwtch" means a nice tight hug in welsh*)

And that was pretty much the interesting bit. (Well, I hope I'm not forgetting anything or anyone). The following meant taking a taxi to the coach station (and it bloody costed 12pounds! I hate taxis here! But it was the only option at 4am), spending 40min on a coach to London Heathrow (during which I was trying really hard to keep my eyes open so that I wouldn't miss the station), a 90 minutes wait in Heathrow, where, let's just say, I decided to collapse in between 2 vending machines with a super strong coffee, a sandwich and a magazine to flick through. How romantic, right? And then 2 and a half more hours on another coach and finally home. And sleep. Lots of it! But it was totally worth it and it was a nice adventure. Can't wait for more pictures so that I can add them here :)

(photo on dA as well)

History - The Fun Way

I came across two great shows today.

One of them is a cartoon destined for children, but I can't help not to love it:


The other one is a series of sketches that are just full of good fun:


Enjoy!

Not Today

Today I don't want to write. I don't want to let you know what I think. I want you to try and guess it, to read it in the flickers of my eyes, in the twitches of my fingers and in the way I play with my hair. Because today I'm not me. Today I'm an entity, beyond my body, my spirit, my life. Today I'm an idea, a gust of wind. And I want you to feel.

Because today people started asking questions again. 

Because today I've been listening to Opeth - Coil on repeat.

Because today it rained.

Today I'm not going to tell you anything. I'm going to let you write the story your own way. I'll just give you the words to pick from. And there's plenty. 

Today I learned that when you look at a photograph, you see the image and not the paper it's printed on. You fall in love with it, it becomes part of you, you become part of it. Who cares if the person in it is dead? His life is imprinted on that paper, on your eyes, on your soul. He lives for ever. He's a secret you must pass on when the time is right. He is nothing, yet he's God. And when Herve Guibert wrote about him, he was in fact writing about you. About me. 

But I won't pass the secret to you just yet. I'll let you look for it first. Maybe even buy me a few cups of coffee and some cookies to bribe me into telling it to you. And if you really manage to entertain me, perhaps I'll even let you buy me some glasses of martini. You know how I love drinking martini and dancing to no music other than that of the stars falling inside of me. And then buy me flowers and pretty perfumes and lure me to your bed. Should I deny you? I'll be too drunk by then, soaked in all the liqueurs of modern life. What a commodity it is to to keep secrets, to lie. 

It rained today, did I tell you that? And it was windy too, windy like never before. It shred my white umbrella to pieces. But I'll stitch it back. For it was the last thing I had to remind me of you. A thing I had found by a banality when I had given up searching for something like it. I went in to buy a bra, but came out with the umbrella instead. Just my eternal luck. Did I thank you then for leading me to that shop? I must have...

When you get out of here
When you leave me behind
You'll find that those years passed us by

And I can, see you
Running through the fields of sorrow
Yes I can, see you
Running through the fields of sorrow

Yesterday I finished reading Francoise Sagan's "Bonjour Tristesse". I felt like in highschool again. There was the rebel adolescent Cecile. And there was Anne, who tragically died. How they both related to me! How they both were me! Or was I them? Quarreling today and loving each other next day. And the waves and the sun making all seem much more intense. Like they had taken a holiday trip into me. And I still wander why she'd let Anne die, though I know it was the only solution out of the deadlock.

So you see? You see why you must work your way to gain my trust? I need to trust you before I can tell you any secret, for how am I to confess to a God who isn't there to listen?

Oh and today... today I thought I could fly. Not with wings. Not in the way you'd read in a cheesy fairytale from a second-hand shop magazine. Not even on the overdose of cider that I had at a friend's party or on the ketamine dust that floats through the room when they all pass the portions around, sniffing through the same rolled 10pounds note (I always refused them politely when they'd offer it to me). What need have I got for their little games when I have a much stronger drug filling my every pore. Oh, no, I'm not talking about my love for you. That is old and maybe even gone. It's not even freedom. It's the sheer nothingness that allows me to turn a square inch into a galaxy and shift things around in the silliest way, just like I'd always do as a little girl. It's the pure insanity that is mine alone to enjoy while they all eat their bodies with ephemeral chemicals.  

Every time I listen to this bloody song it seems to be getting shorter. 

Now I'll go to bed. Or at least so I should. It's not today anymore. Or is it? A new today perhaps? How can it always be today? No, that's just because I'm tired and my soul is flowing out of my body in a hot wave. I'll go now, while it's still today. But I'll keep you locked in here, to find the light by yourself. 

Until you buy me that coffee, I won't tell you anything more. Or, be it from me, the martini. Just because your confused gaze amused me. You might make a good listener some day. But I won't let you know what I think. Just for now.

Where does real life end and fiction start? Can you tell them apart? As for me, all that still keeps me connected to reality is concentrated in the tears rolling down from my eyes. 

Just for now.

Nothing New...

I'd say it's been quite a calm week. The Saturday I've spent in London was a very nice one (appart from the weather, which was the exact opposite). It was good to meet up with 2 of my former classmates and have a chat while enjoying a christmasy latte in Starbucks. 

yummy and cozy :)

I've also finished writing my project so I'm feeling free now. Sadly I have to rethink 2 of my photos for the second assignment, since it's been rainy all weekend so I couldn't go out to do the photos I wanted. Bloody weather. 

But next weekend is the Devolution Xmas Party in Reading to which I'll be going. I'm very much looking forward to it. It should be mental :D So toodles for now!

Days

This week we learned how to make enlarged prints from film, which was very nice. Other than that, I've just had shoots and partied. Nothing big or remarkable. 

Anyway, somehow I ended up looking up events that happened on my birthday and I just noticed that Mme du Barry was also born on 19th August! How proper! There also seems to have been many artists born on the same day along centuries. I guess I have chosen a good day to come into this world. It almost makes me want to go back into the whole discussion of is there a "destiny"? But not today.

Saturday I'm in London. Again. 

Halloween & co.

I must say that one week after Halloween I'm still thinking back to it. I've had the best time in a long time! I went to TJ's to take some photos for FnK  and got to meet new people. The gig was well good and I was really looking forward to seeing Maleficent's performance since I used to love their stuff even since I was back in Romania. And getting to chat and spend the night with them made me really happy. 

It's great when you get good things happening to you after weeks of uncertainty. It relaxes you. But I still miss the people at home. Still hate not finding a part-time job. Oh well...

p.s.: I've made a Myspace account. Add me if you want: Noree@Myspace